When I stepped on the scale this morning, something I’ve been avoiding for the last several days, I was stunned to discover that somehow I’ve managed to LOSE 2 pounds since Thanksgiving. I know, I’m as shocked as you are. Since I’ve been so successful with my weight loss efforts and since this is the season of giving, I thought I’d share my diet secrets with you. But they are for your own personal use only — I’m sure I’ll have the book contract inked by this afternoon.
The Pumpkin Pie Diet(TM pending)
Scientifically proven to work!
Sample menu
Breakfast:
One medium-sized piece of pumpkin pie. Whipped cream optional
Lunch:
Sliced turkey and creamed onions on fresh spinach
Cranberry sauce
Small slice of pumpkin pie eaten directly out of the pie pan
One more small slice of pumpkin pie eaten out of the pie pan. This time, don’t use a fork.
Dinner
Leftover turkey
Leftover stuffing
Leftover mashed potatoes
Leftover creamed onions
Leftover green beans
Leftover cranberry sauce
Leftover carrot salad
[No pie]
Exercise is optional.
Sitting on your butt watching Christmas specials and old movies is required, at least 1 hour a day.
No go out and try it yourselves! It really works!!! I’ve got “scientific” proof!!!
December 1, 2008 at 9:24 am
Huh. That’s pretty much what I’ve done in the past four days, too (though my actual list of food items is slightly different) and it doesn’t seem to be having the same effect. You must be magic.
December 1, 2008 at 10:04 am
Yay!!! I love it!!
December 1, 2008 at 11:19 am
Heh. I think you may have trouble getting published – your sample size is awfully small…
December 1, 2008 at 11:22 am
Wow–I wish that diet would work for me. Congratulations.
December 1, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I think I’ll need the creamed onion recipe. Must be key.
I started Christmas baking today. The eating doesn’t stop until February.
December 1, 2008 at 3:25 pm
eh, sure, rub it in. Nine months until big family wedding – I really need some melting to occur soon. Problem is that I hate pumpkin pie.
December 1, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Great minds think alike, especially when they’re from the same culture–my necromancy never pays post for today is about worries over weight.
December 2, 2008 at 9:37 am
If I had any leftovers, I’d do it.