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Dear Sir or Madame

February 21, 2011

Dear Sir or Madame,

Please excuse Harriet from blogging today. She is (check all that apply)

____ Writing furiously.

_X__ Dressed inappropriately.

____Serenading Mr. Spy with her dulcet tones.

__X_Playing with toy cars Helping AJ with his Science Fair project.

__X_ Performing feats of mathematical endurance in the name of SCIENCE!

____ Putting a delicious gourmet meal on the table for her loving family.

__X_Catering to the whims of a petty dictator feverish boy.

____ Vacuuming the house in a dress, lacy apron, high heels and pearls.

__X_Bruised in unseemly places from slipping on the ice while trying to feed the neighbor’s cat.

__X_Teaching, teaching, teaching.

__X_Bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan (mmm. Bacon.)

__X_Bigger than a breadbox.

Harriet will resume her regularly scheduled blog as soon as

____Hell freezes over.

____Pigs fly.

____Monkeys fly out of her butt.

__X_School is back in session.

Thank you for




__X_Not Smoking.

__X_Not calling the cops that one time.

__X_Keeping your hands to yourself.

Sincerely yours,


____The voices in Harriet’s head

____The zombie who ate Harriet’s brain

__X_The people who came to take Harriet away

12 Comments leave one →
  1. February 21, 2011 5:45 pm

    I have to admit that I don’t give my sick kids fever reducing meds anymore. One, I’ve heard that it is better to let the fever fight the germs. And two…. they’re crabby when they feel better. And bored. And yet cuddly and helpless when still feeling lousy. Dang that makes me sound heartless. Don’t check that box!

  2. February 21, 2011 6:05 pm

    I just got through a few days like that. Loved this.

  3. cranky permalink
    February 21, 2011 8:23 pm

    Hope he feels better — is school open this week?

  4. February 21, 2011 8:32 pm

    MKM, I have been tempted to follow suit, but have never actually done it. He was actually okay today. His fever’s pretty low. Just persistent. Heide — I hope you survived! And Cranky, yes there’s school tomorrow, although I’m not entirely sure AJ will be able to go. That February break is a northeastern thing. We don’t get it out here.

  5. February 22, 2011 4:55 am

    Maybe we could get our respective zombies together for a play date?

    (It’s Leven Musical time…the Fife premire of Children of Eden. God — make that Father — help us all).

  6. freshhell permalink
    February 22, 2011 8:46 am

    Hope he’s on the mend soon. Red was complaining of not feeling good this morning though could not offer any specific symptoms and was not running a fever so…’ll be one of those days where I wait to see whether the nurse calls or not. Something or nothing. I think mainly it’s the sharp rise and fall of the temperatures these last few days.

  7. freshhell permalink
    February 22, 2011 8:46 am

    Also, since you’re sitting around needing something to do (ha), it’s your turn at Scrabble.

  8. February 22, 2011 8:59 am

    IWOM, I think I may need to write a rock song called “Zombie Play Date.” Also, I love your version of this post. Freshhell, AJ’s had a low fever — 100-101 — for several days and it is unaffected by fever reducers. I think I’m calling the doctor today since the fever does’t seem to be going anywhere.

  9. freshhell permalink
    February 22, 2011 10:43 am

    Ugh. Well I hope he’s feeling better very soon.

  10. freshhell permalink
    February 22, 2011 2:05 pm

    Did you ever find out what caused his pretend sickness to get out of going to school?

  11. February 22, 2011 6:43 pm

    No, freshhell, we never did. I’m not sure if he was intentionally faking it, or if he’d just worked himself into an anxious state about something. In any case, the moment passed.

  12. February 24, 2011 4:15 pm

    Oy. Nice list, though. 🙂

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