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Home leave

August 13, 2011

By the time I get back home, I am always exhausted, not just from travel, but from a week of new things. I’m awake this morning, but still in my pajamas (it is nearly 11 am in New York, so it is less shameful to think of myself in the central time zone). My mind is wandering all over the place. I get up, I sit down. I think about one thing for a few minutes, and then move on I’m as distractible as I can be.

I am thinking about the Free Willie Nelson, an old camper painted blue and white like a cartoon whale with a white picket fence over its front bumper and the sign with its name above that. It’s been parked on 8th Avenue in Brooklyn all week. I pass it every morning on the way to the subway and every evening on the way back again. Something about a camper in the middle of the city appeals to me. Something about the before and after quality of its name appeals to me too. I have never seen anyone near the Free Willie Nelson. Is someone living in there?

I’ve been thinking about the cobblestone street I’ll be staying on the next time I’m there, with its tiny restaurants and corner store and the flashes of the Hudson River down the way. If I squint, I think I’m in Paris. Or maybe not Paris, but some idealized version of a European city. I’ve been thinking about all the routes I can take to the office.

I’ve been thinking that I need to bring a camera next time. I’ve been thinking that today may be the day I invest in an iPhone. I’m thinking it will be weird to take a leisurely drive through the horse farms and large exurban lots to the Apple Store after barreling around the close quarters of Manhattan streets all week.

I’ve been thinking about the strange dichotomy of the niceness of having my belongings nearby and my lack of need for them. My house feels full of stuff after a week living out of a single small suitcase.

I’ve been thinking about how AJ carried my business card around with him all yesterday evening after I showed it to him, how he carefully read the fine print on our new health insurance cards. I’ve been thinking how he wandered into my room last night to say, “I really missed you, Mom,” and how that will never stop breaking my heart.

I’ve been thinking how I have to sand and paint the bathroom ceiling and how that is about the last thing in the world I want to do right now. I’ve been thinking that I want to be lying in a hammock with a good book, if only I had a hammock.

What are you thinking?

10 Comments leave one →
  1. August 13, 2011 12:21 pm

    Yes, a hammock. I would like that.

  2. eleanorio permalink
    August 13, 2011 12:50 pm

    I’m thinking I would rather be doing anything than transcribing music. Mostly, I want to be enjoying the last days of summer outdoors, not up in the attic, wistfully looking out the window at the blue sky and the green trees that I am not able to enjoy. Sigh.

  3. August 13, 2011 3:04 pm

    I would like my camera, which is currently in Ireland with M, and I would like an answer to the question of what to do about a number of job difficulties which are currently occupying my mind. I think what I may need to do is go in and sort them out. Ho hum.

  4. freshhell permalink
    August 13, 2011 5:30 pm

    I am wondering why I agreed to a double sleep over. The factions are starting to fight. Might be time to turn on the tv – the great kid equalizer.

  5. August 13, 2011 6:31 pm

    I agreed to a sleepover too, freshhell. Cocktails by the computer later?

  6. freshhell permalink
    August 14, 2011 9:01 am

    I might need a morphine drip as well. Guess who the most obnoxious of the four is? Red. Who managed to destroy a book shelf. Sigh.

  7. August 14, 2011 10:15 am

    I am still a big ball of anxiety about the new job (I can’t possibly do all the things the bigwigs have asked me to do before school starts on Aug. 25) and about taking my firstborn off to college and leaving her, days before she turns 18.

  8. August 14, 2011 9:32 pm

    You will be fine. Better than fine. About the job, anyway. I’m not sure there’s any good way to be fine about leaving your first born somewhere far away. But it will be fantastic for her.

  9. August 15, 2011 7:27 am

    It will… And it’s soothing to hear “you will be fine.”


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