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The sisters moan in a blessed tone

October 3, 2012

Oh, internet, I have been delinquent. This city is overwhelming to me sometimes, all the more so now that I don’t leave it. I spend a lot of time being very tired.

Since last we met, we have sold our house, finally, for real. I have a half begun post about it but it’s on my work computer and I never seem to get it done. But the day it happened, I woke up feeling very sad. I worried that this was really it, it was done and what if I’d made a horrible mistake? And then all of a sudden on the train to work, “We Used to be Friends” by the Dandy Warhols shuffled up on my iPod. And I suddenly thought about how much my life had changed, how I had made it change. That song started it all in some ways. Two years ago, I was sick in bed with the swine flu for ten days and I watched the entire series of Veronica Mars. That song is its theme. And for some reason, I got up and decided to do something. I went to a musicology conference and I started getting things done. The following spring, I flew to New York for a job interview. It went well. Afterwards I met a friend for dinner. We stopped into the NYU bookstore on the way and that song was playing over the loudspeaker, which was weird, because it was never very popular and it wes nearly a decade old. The rest of the story of the job is history now, but at that moment, in the bookstore, I thought of it as a good omen. It seemed like a message just for me. The day our house sold, I heard the song streaming through my headphones and thought, “Maybe this is another sign.” And then I looked up from my seat and across the aisle there was a woman reading a magazine with the pages folded back. Her hand was covering most of the words on the page, but just below here hand, in enormous block letters easily legible from the other side of the subway car there was one word: SIGN. The only thing missing was a litte neon or a giant foam finger pointing it out. It was one of those moments when you feel like the punch line of your own joke.

Since then, the following:

* Mr. Spy’s first solo flight to Chicago
* AJ and I take a trip to Coney Island with Cranky and toddler J (There are pictures! but I don’t have them handy. Another day, I hope.)
* Our anniversary — an even dozen
* A successful book proposal meeting, which is a little like a dissertation defense but with more money on the line and you’re talking about someone else’s dissertation
* Reading a friend’s book, which I love
* Reading Infinite Jest, which I like a lot
* Reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which I can’t put down

So yes, it’s been busy, but mostly the reason I haven’t been writing is that I’m dealing with a situation at work that is so pedestrian, such a classic office scenario, and yet so stressful and sucking a lot of my time and energy. It will eventually resolve itself somehow. But I’m now past the point of wishing for rehabilitation and am now just short of wishing for a public lynching. I am not proud of this. But there it is. The situation has gone from bad to worse to dire to one-step-shy-of-sending-me-to-the-nuthouse. On the other hand, this kind of incompetence has proven to be exceedingly rare at the Toy Factory. Still, I fear for round 2. I can’t believe this will end well for anyone.

I am comforting myself with plans for my trip to New Orleans at the end of the month. I have made restaurant reservations. I’ve become a little obsessed with Treme, which I’m finally able to watch, thanks to a free introductory HBO subscription. I’ve been listening to second line bands on Pandora all week.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. October 4, 2012 5:38 am

    You know, I’ve been reading your blog since before the swine flu incident but the way you laid out the timeline put everything together for me in a way I hadn’t grasped before. You really did get up from your bed and walk (to paraphrase a bible verse :)). Sorry about the work situation, although I agree with you. If this is the first such incident at the Toy Factory, you are a fortunate woman indeed.

  2. October 4, 2012 6:41 am

    The words to “We Used to be Friends” make me wonder the way the words to “You’re so Vain” used to.

  3. October 4, 2012 10:49 am

    Signs? How ’bout me putting on PPG’s ‘Super Secret Girls Club’ necklace this morning for the first time since the IMOM and I got back from the ATW trip?

    THAT’S a sign that all is due to be well with the world.

    IWOM

  4. magpiemusing permalink
    October 4, 2012 11:05 am

    i love treme. also, i love that you saw a “sign” on the subway. the subway is a wonderful thing.

    i hope the work thing lets up.

  5. October 4, 2012 12:19 pm

    What a couple of years you have had. I hope the work thing resolves in an acceptable way. I admire your bravery and sense of adventure (yours and the menfolk in the family, too).

  6. drgeek permalink
    October 4, 2012 2:40 pm

    I found the completion of my degree was the pebble that caused an avalanche of changes in my life. Enjoy the adventure!

    As for the office thing, I so very much appreciate that. Two of the last three years at my previous place of employ was filled with some very petty, toxic office politics… it just made me not want to go to work in the morning. I hope it gets better soon.

    Where are you going in New Orleans? Galatoire’s? Commander’s Palace? Willie Mae’s Scotch House?

    I just had a hankering for some fresh beignets from Cafe du Monde, and a muffaletta from Central Grocery just the other day.

  7. October 4, 2012 4:47 pm

    My gosh — those really are signs. The first time we returned to Providence in a long long time (10 years ago, maybe) all the songs that were popular — with us, not with everyone — when we lived there spilled out of the car radio. It was a sound track to the movie of our life.

    I do believe in signs.

    xx

  8. October 4, 2012 6:29 pm

    Also, New Orleans! And sorry about the office thing — ugh.

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